Moving On
by Amme Mahtal
Summary: It's the beginning of the new school year, and Miles is struggling to get over his father. Mrs. Hollingsworth takes them all on a cruise. The twins couldn't be happier, but Miles is still uncontent. Will a much needed vacation open Miles' eyes to reality? Will he finally move on? Another request from my tumblr: petit-boy-bleu.
"Hunter!" Miles cried. "Can you please turn that down!"

"I am in middle of a boss level! I need to focus!" Hunter shouted, not even looking up from the game he was playing.

Miles rolled his eyes and turned back to his work; he was trying to finish some poetry he was writing. Ever since he was forced to read his piece out loud in English, Miles swore for the sake of his own dignity that he would come up with something better. But now, his annoying little brother was making it impossible to concentrate.

"Hunter, I swear to god if you don't turn that stupid–"

"REALM OF DOOM IS NOT STUPID, YOU ARE!" his brother shouted angrily.

"Freak," Miles muttered under his breath. Just then, Frankie came striding into the living room, speaking obnoxiously loud on the phone.

"Really, you too?" he said, annoyed.

"No, it was so bad. Like a kindergartner could have written something better!" she giggled into the phone.

Hold up. Was Frankie seriously telling some dumb tenner how dumb _he_ was? Oh no, not today.

"Frankenstein!" he hollered.

Frankie's sweet smile instantly disappeared at the sound of her older brother's threatening tone. "I'll call you back Shay," she said, slowing putting her phone in her pocket.

"Are you really reciting my I hate Tristan poem to everyone you know?!" he yelled.

"Okay, one, really? That's what you're calling it?" she asked quizzically, which only aggravated him further. "And second, I wasn't reciting it word for word…,"

"Okay, whatever just stop," Miles said, frustrated to the max.

"NOOOOOOO!" Hunter shouted from the couch.

Frankie looked towards her twin and sighed. "Is he attempting that impossible boss level again?" she asked Miles wearily.

"Yup."

"Can you two please keep it down?" Hunter asked. "I can't beat this level if you guys are going to be so loud!"

 _I am about to fucking scream if one more person–_

"Great news kids!" Mrs. Hollingsworth cried excitingly, running into the room.

"Oh, what now?" Miles asked sarcastically.

"I just booked us a one week stay on a cruise ship!"

"Really?" Hunter asked curiously, putting down his headset to join the rest of the family. "When do we leave?"

"Today!" cried their mom.

 _Great…_

* * *

Everyone was excited for this new family vacation, except Miles. Figures. The twins were practically tearing their rooms apart, pulling out every piece of clothing they owned and putting it into suitcases. Miles sat sulking on the edge of his bed, dreading every second that brought him closer to the voyage he was being forced upon.

"Miles," his mom asked, knocking on the his door softly. "Why aren't you packed?"

The young teen groaned at the question. "Because I don't want to go!"

Mrs. Hollingsworth looked concerned at his aggressive response and sat down next to him. "Why honey? You love boats!"

Miles bit his lip. "Because," he said, sucking in his breath. "They remind me of him."

"Of whom?" his mom asked, confused.

"Of dad! Boats remind of me mom! Every 4th of July he used to take us out on his yacht to see the fireworks, remember?"

"Miles, we haven't done anything like that in years!"

"That's my point, mom," he said sadly. "We stopped doing it after he, after I–after _we both_ started fighting all the time. Now, every time someone even mentions the word "boat", I think back to when we all used to be happy–when I was happy–and it just hurts because I know things will never be like that again," he finished, his eyes filling with tears.

"Oh, Miles," his mother said soothingly. "C'mon here," she said sympathetically, wrapping a comforting arm around his shoulder and motioned for him to scoot closer. Sighing, he complied, and rested his face under her chin, tears streaming down his face. "Shh, it's okay," she said, gently rubbing his back. "I promise you we are going to have lots of fun on this trip, okay?"

"Okay," Miles sniffled, wiping the tears from his eyes.

She smiled at her son and kissed the top of his head. "We're leaving in 10 minutes, so be ready to go by then."

Miles nodded as she walked out of his room to help Frankie carry her suitcase down the stairs. He sighed. Maybe this wouldn't be so bad after all. Maybe.

* * *

Several hours later, Frankie, Miles, Hunter and Mrs. Hollingsworth were standing over the railing of an enormous cruise ship. It was a beautiful, sunny day without a cloud in the sky. Unfortunately, Miles was already feeling seasick; the rocking back and fourth was making him dizzy and nauseous.

"OMG this is the best!" Frankie cried giddily. "There's a water park, pool, salon and–"

"Don't forget arcade!" Hunter interrupted.

"Really Hunter? We travel all this way and you want to play video games?!"

"Uhm, yeah!" Hunter said, annoyed.

"Whatever, your lose," Frankie said. "Hey, Miles, let's hit the pool and spy on the hot lifeguards!"

"Huh?" he gasped, clutching his stomach in pain.

"Miles? Are you okay?" she asked.

He nodded, gesturing with his hands like it was no big deal. "I'm fine, I'm–"

Suddenly, he collapsed into the railing, holding on with all his might as he watched his lunch come up.

"EW!" Frankie cried, pinching her nose in disgust.

"Gross dude," Hunter said, equally repulsed.

Miles groaned as he leaned over the railing, trying to distract his stomach by inhaling the salty sea air.

"Okay, why don't the two of you go explore while I take Miles back to the cabin," Mrs. Hollingsworth said, glancing at her eldest child uneasily.

The twins shrugged their shoulders and took off, racing each other to see who could find the nearest food joint.

"Miles, honey are you okay?" Mrs. Hollingsworth asked, shaking her head as she watched the twins crash into countless people as they ran down the deck.

Miles sighed and turned away from the railing to face his mom. His cheeks were flushed from the heat, and his stomach was churning, threatening to spew again at any given moment.

"Why don't you go back to our rooms and lye down?" his mom suggested.

The eldest Hollingsworth child bit his lip in agony; he hadn't been on this ship for more than 5 minutes and already he was screwing things up, disrupting everyone and causing mayhem.

"No."

Mrs. Hollingsworth looked taken aback. "No? What do you mean no?"

Tears prickling in the corner of his eyes, Miles cried out, "I'm trying to move on! I'm trying not to let him get to me, but every time I imagine doing something potentially good for myself, he's in my head! He's berating me, suffocating me with lecture after lecture, drowning me in condescending insults, telling me I'm worthless or no good or I don't deserve to be happy. I'm sick of it! I'm sick of being sad all the time! I'm sick of being put down by him!" he shouted, gasping for breath.

Mrs. Hollingsworth was shocked by his sudden outburst. Miles didn't blame her; from an outside perspective, it looked as if he had overreacted to nothing and thrown a tantrum. But it wasn't nothing; in order for him to be happy, Miles desperately needed to get on with his life and try to forget his father's abuse. By now, the tears were streaming down his face, the salty liquid leaving a bitter taste in his mouth. But he didn't care; he was too overcome with grief and sorrow.

"Mom," he said, choking back sobs. "I-I have to be strong. I want to be okay and happy, I _do_ , but I can't unless–"

"Miles," his mom cut him off. "You don't need to go around masking your emotions and pretending everything is okay, because clearly it's not!" she said, looking longingly at her son. "It's okay to be sad, it's okay to be angry. You're allowed to _feel_ ," she said sincerely. "What your father did to you wasn't right–it never was–and it should have never happened, I should have never let it happen."

"Mom," Miles said hoarsely, but she cut him off with her finger, "No, Miles, it's true. I didn't listen or pay enough attention to you when you needed me the most. It's one of my biggest regrets. And for that, I'm truly sorry."

Miles sucked in his breathe as he listened to his mother's words. She cared. She actually cared about him! For so long, it felt like the entire world, including his family, was against him, but now he knew this wasn't the case. He was loved. He was cherished. He mattered.

"I love you," Miles whispered as she pulled him into a hug. His mom smiled upon hearing this.

"I love you too," she said, gently caressing his cheek, wiping away a stray tear with the back of her thumb.

Miles placed his hand over hers, grateful for the affection and warmth she was giving him. However, there was still one more dark thought crossing in his mind.

"It still hurts," he said simply, pulling his hand away. "What he did physical and mentally hurt, mom, and I-I," he croaked, short, violent bursts of sobs interrupting him.

"Miles," his mom said concerned, "What is it?"

He took a deep breath before answering, "I hate him. I hate him! I hate how he gets to go on merrily living his fabulous life, leaving me wounded and scared!" he cried, unable to contain his emotions anymore.

"I know," his mom breathed. "It's not fair. It's not fair that he can just do this to you and then go on like nothing ever happened. But like I said, it's okay to feel resentment against him, it doesn't make you a bad person, Miles, especially given the circumstances."

Miles nodded through his tears. His mom was right; he had every right to be angry and hurt. He always had these feelings about his father built up inside of him, but he kept them locked away, knowing if he let them lose chaos would ensue.

"I'm going to get you help," his mom whispered. "You're going to get over this, and you are going to be at peace with yourself. I promise," she said.

And for the first time in a long time, Miles smiled, a genuine, toothy smile he kept safe for only truly happy moments. And this was definitely one of them.


End file.
